Mother of boy killed in Joplin tornado abandons request to save seat for son at graduation
The mother of a Joplin seventh-grader killed in the 2011 tornado has abandoned her request to have a seat saved for him at Sunday's graduation.
Zachary Allen Williams would have been part of the Class of 2016.
While there will be no empty chair or cap and gown hung in his honor, Zachary's family have been invited to attend the ceremony. It falls on the fifth anniversary of his death.
Tammy Niederhelman said she has accepted the invitation and will attend.
"There are several kiddos we know that are graduating," said Niederhelman, Zachary's mom. "We wanted to be there because we know Zach would have been there for them."
But she acknowledges that watching her son's classmates graduate — and feeling his absence there — will be painful.
On that night five years ago, as storm sirens wailed, Zachary spoke with his mother, by phone, one last time. She was working the night shift at Freeman Hospital.
"He said 'Mommy, I'm so scared,'" Niederhelman told the News-Leader in the days after the storm. "I told him I loved him and that everything would be fine."
Following the storm, Zach's mom, her husband and dozens of volunteers searched for the boy. His body was identified days later.
Niederhelman grew up in a small Missouri town and recognizing students who didn't live long enough to walk at graduation was a tradition. When she approached Joplin High Principal Kerry Sachetta with the request, she didn't expect to hear a "no."
Mom of boy killed in Joplin tornado wants empty chair at graduation
She was told there were plans to mark the five-year anniversary and all the people who were killed, including her son. In January, Sachetta told the News-Leader that he sought feedback and students and staff "overwhelmingly" wanted to include Zachary in the recognition but not allow the empty chair.
"Our hearts and thoughts are with this family and all of those throughout our district who have lost a child," he wrote at the time. "There is not a more difficult event to imagine."
She made calls and asked for meetings. When the answer never changed, she went public with her request.
At one point, she was told it was against policy to allow a chair at graduation so she started a petition to change the policy. Nearly 6,000 people signed it.
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"This wasn't just about Zach," she said. "It was about changing the policy so no other parent has to go through what I have gone through."
Support came from far and wide. Strangers, many of whom had never met Zachary or set foot in Joplin, offered to stage a protest. Niederhelman vowed that if her graduation request wasn't honored, she would stand outside the ceremony with an empty chair.
That was months ago.
For all the support that poured in, there was also a sizable backlash. People called her unreasonable. They made nasty comments on social media. They accused her of being bitter and angry.
"There were a lot of parents and students who wanted this but I wish there had been more," she said. "I'm not bitter at all. I am not angry. I'm hurt. They get to watch their kids graduate. I just wanted a chair."
Finally, she said enough. She gave up on the request. She called for protesters to stand down. And she accepted an invitation to attend the ceremony.
She appreciates the gesture, even if it wasn't what she originally wanted.
"I am not mad at the district," she said. "I am just disappointed."
She was asked to alert the school district when the family arrives so they can be greeted, escorted to their spot and presented a 2016 Joplin High School yearbook, which she was told includes a tribute to her son.
The graduation is at 2 p.m. Sunday at the Leggett and Platt Athletic Center on the Missouri Southern State University campus. Gov. Jay Nixon is scheduled to speak. Nearly 5,000 people are expected to attend.
About 435 Joplin High seniors are expected to graduate.
Toward the start of the ceremony, there will be a moment of silence for the students, school employees and many others killed by the tornado.
"We will remember everybody that passed," Sachetta said.
He confirmed last week that Zachary's family was expected to be there.
"We got a certified letter saying we were invited," Niederhelman said. "I guess they wanted to make sure we got it."
Following the ceremony, Zachary's family plans to gather in Joplin's Parr Hill Park. A local developer named Charlie Brown, whom Neiderhelman has never met, and others have asked the family to show up there.
"They are having a graduation ceremony for Zach," she said.
Neiderhelman, who plans to speak at the event, said she has warned the organizers to expect the "biggest hugs."
"You have no idea what this means to me," she said. "I can't really put it into words."
The mother, who has adopted little girls and moved to a community just outside Joplin, said she misses Zachary every day. She said he loved going to school and was thinking about becoming a nurse.
She said she is overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers, who wanted to help her mark the day her son would have graduated from high school.
"It's a different kind of graduation. It's like a heavenly diploma that will be presented," she said. "These are people I don't know from Adam but they wanted to do this for my son."
Want to watch?
Space is limited for the Joplin High School graduation but the ceremony will be streamed live.